Stop Letting Male Validation Brainwash You!
What is male validation, and how are so many women blind to it? Male validation is when a woman values a man's opinion and praise more than she values her own. This is damaging, and women often put themselves in all the wrong situations because of it. Suppose they discover this need for acceptance earlier in life like while they're still in their preteens, they could find themselves talking to online weirdos and even go as far as meeting with them. Suppose they yearn for acceptance later in life in a work or school setting. In that case, they could exhaust themselves or potentially change their entire appearance and personality just for their college/classmates’ approval or just to be taken seriously.
However, the blame shouldn’t be completely on women. How are women supposed to open their eyes and understand that that’s not the way it’s supposed to be when they grow up in a predominantly male privileged society? It only makes sense they will value the opinion of their superior in a work setting and their personal life. In many cases, this craving for male confirmation derives from the very beginning of a girl's life, all the way back to her relationship with a father figure/lack thereof in her life. When the validation that she’s biologically programmed to want doesn't come from the man she wants it to, she'll look to anyone else, over and over. Due to the way she is raised and what the media and the rest of the world teach her, no approval is better than a man’s. In many instances, these young women get validation through their bodies. It's sad and heartbreaking, but remember to think about who feeds into this and keeps the cycle going before you blame her. Think about why she has to exploit herself to feel appreciated or accepted. Where did this little girl learn that? Society teaches her to care about what men think or what they value in a girl.
One huge example of how this longing for validation is pushed onto young girls is through shows and movies, for example, Disney princesses. Why is the princess always so helpless until a man comes in to save her? Why are the princesses perceived as ditzy or girly, and why is being “girly” a bad thing? What's wrong with being a girl and doing feminine things, and why has it become an insult? Society has brainwashed young girls to think they are not worthy enough until a man believes they are. She’s not supposed to do certain things, but he can. She is blonde, so she’s dumb, but he’s blonde and smart. No wonder she's seeking his approval. We teach her to! We teach young women that men and boys are better, smarter, and stronger. So, of course, they would look for approval from people “superior” to themselves. By not coming to terms with this reality and breaking out of this horrible and damaging way of male praise, we are contributing to this and saying that male supremacy is okay to continue. It's not. It engrains the idea of young women today and future generations that there is nothing wrong with valuing someone else's opinion above your own. This jeopardizes women's safety, self-image, and future.
Even worse, it has also become a joke amongst a large audience, mainly teens. When they find someone who fits this description, they call them a “pick me.” This is someone who is very obvious about their attempt to get attention, and though this name usually refers to girls, some guys are made fun of for this too. Many people don't realize the extent of this name and just how far it goes into this person's past. They claim to understand male validation and its damage but then go around calling their peers or people online a “pick me,” reinforcing the stereotype. This just blatantly disregards everything they claimed to be aware of in terms of male validation.
I hope by the end of this, you all can understand why I am reaching out with this essay. To not only bring awareness but to also act as a reminder. It is 2021, and we shouldn’t still be arguing about one gender being better than another. We all hold value in society, and we can’t express that if we as a community aren't doing everything we can to make sure young girls feel empowered by themselves, without the need for male validation.
