In Grief's Grip
Grief, strife, anger, and suffering. These are all words that we have experienced once in our lives. We have all gone through unwanted feelings that make our stomachs hurt and make it hard to focus on daily activities. What do you do to get rid of these feelings? I'm sure your answer is different from someone else you may ask. We all cope differently, at different paces, and with different strategies. Some of us have experienced different types of pain from others, and we handle it differently. It’s a good thing to cope on your own, but sometimes we need help. It is human nature to need help. Most of the people reading this piece are young and in high school. Because we are students, most of our time in life is spent in school. This is where we meet people that we surround ourselves with and teachers that we see every day. They are our people. School is supposed to be a safe place for most, an outlet, and a place to get away from outside troubles. School is seen to be a place we feel comfortable with, where we feel we can make connections with others, make a plan for life, and not worry about anything but that. That's all we've ever known, comfortableness. So what happens when the students are no longer comfortable?
Students go through many things outside and inside of school. Home problems, life challenges, just trying to get through school. What happens when we mix the struggles of both school and outside life together? As a student, I have gone through several situations where it has been difficult to stay on top of things. The school didn't help with that. The school began to warp with my stress from everything else, which caused more of a mental toll. Either I was doing good in school but was mentally tired from putting my everything into it, or I was falling behind in school because I was focusing on myself. Although, I could do those things simultaneously because most people can juggle those two things evenly. I am not that type of person; that is frustrating. The older we've gotten while going through school, the more we've noticed that school is almost what gives you your worth as a person. If you don't understand something, then you won’t get anywhere in life. Our mental health should be more important than the due dates. But why is it that when we feel so down, we can't find the help we need? I feel mental health is not taken quite seriously in our school districts. And as much as we would like to say it is, it is not. It’s very pick and choose when it comes to when to help with our students. From what I know, there have been two students here at Ike that have died since I enrolled here that I know of. Not only were the families and friends affected by these two deaths, but so were the students who connected with said students. For the most recent death of one of the two students, I feel the grieving process was not taken as seriously as it should have. A student of the Yakima School District had died, and we took two days of recovery. This is not practice; this is life. This was a person that was loved and cared for, someone who had memories with several students attending our schools. We don't need two days; we need help. The availability to the councilors was a step in the right direction, but not far enough.
We still had the stress of school, the stress of due dates, of tests, of studying on our minds as we healed. We stood in place as the world raced on. As someone who has lost a loved one, it takes a long time to recover from this pain. We all grieve differently. So why is it that when we try to bring attention to our struggles, to our mental health, we are told we are being slackers, lazy, and outright “overreacting”? We don't take mental health seriously enough, especially within schools. Yes, we are young, but that's where it starts, so when we see the signs, we should be more attentive of it. Your pain is different from their pain. Your grief is different from my grief. Learn that students aren't just students. They are young, growing people trying to form themselves into healthy, stable adults for the future. Instead of asking why your student is being unproductive or lazy and attacking them for being “a slacker,” why not talk about what they could be going through? As for students, if you know anyone who is struggling in the smallest of ways, it will always light their day with a simple “how are you doing, both mentally and physically?” learn to care, not assume.
