Two Kids, Two Cents: Holiday Edition
Where’s the best place to find last-minute gifts?
Richie: The 5-dollar and under section at Walmart or Target are great places. As well as the $5 movie bin. The dollar tree may be a great place if you don’t mind doing extra searching. Any goodwill or thrift shop may have some good finds.
Ethan: The dumpster behind the Krispy Kreme is one of the best places to find a last minute gift that I know of. Who wouldn’t want a trash bag filled with donuts that are still perfectly fine to eat and could’ve been donated to a homeless shelter instead of being thrown out?
You guys, I’m trying to decide which Christmas cookies to make. The options are classic sugar cookies or (my favorite) pumpkin cookies. Help me, Richie and Ethan; you’re my only hope.
Richie: In my personal opinion, sugar cookies are the way to go. They are delicious, simple, and classic. However, if pumpkin cookies are your favorite, just make those. They’re cookies. Make what you want.
Ethan: Pumpkin cookies hands down. I don’t care if pumpkin is a “fall flavor”. If the cookie makes my throat dry up like a shriveled prune, it’s not a cookie. I should not experience the sensation of anaphylaxis when consuming a pastry. It is not right in God’s eyes for a dessert to be drier than the Sahara Desert. Please, for the love of all that’s good in the world, make pumpkin cookies.
My cousin has everything, and I don’t know what to get her for Christmas. What do I do?
Richie: You know the phrase “It’s the thought that counts”? It may be cheesy, but it's true. Get something that relates to a memory you both share, or something that they might have mentioned a few weeks ago. If nothing comes to mind, you can’t go wrong with a basket of their favorite snacks.
Ethan: Are you really sure she has “everything”. I’ll bet you a pretty penny that she doesn’t have an eight liter, 16 cylinder, 1500 horsepower, 1180 pound-feet Bugatti Chiron with four turbochargers, a 0-60 of 2.3 seconds, and a max speed of 261 mph.
I don't have much money to get presents for my family? What should I do?
Richie: Write them a letter. It doesn’t have to be long, but a nice letter to tell them what they mean to you can be very heartwarming. Baking them cookies or a nice treat may also bring joy.
Ethan: Simple: ask Santa for money. Once Santa gives you money on Christmas, then you’ll have money to buy your family presents.
Very important question. Does Christmas season officially start November 1st or the day after Thanksgiving? Please help me rightfully settle this debate!
Richie: People tend to have very strong opinions about when the Christmas season starts. I don’t think the debate really matters. People celebrate Christmas because it makes them happy. What right does anyone have to tell you when you are allowed to celebrate and experience that joy? The Christmas season starts differently for different people, and I do not see a problem with that.
Ethan: As a matter of fact, the Christmas season starts on December 1st. I need time to digest the Thanksgiving turkey before I even begin to think about decorating, and the 1 week buffer between Thanksgiving and December 1st is perfect. Plus, if the Christmas season starts after Thanksgiving, what am I supposed to do during that week with no chocolate advent calendar to open?
Can you help me come up with ideas for my Christmas wish list? I just don’t have any ideas.
Richie: Some basic ideas include: clothes, giftcards, your favorite snacks, fun card games, room decor, comfy blankets, and electronics.
Ethan: One thing that’s definitely topping my list this year is the Lego Millenium Falcon #75192 with 7,541 pieces, removable hull panels, and upper and lower quad laser cannons. Or you could, idk, ask for clothes or something.
How do I savor my last holiday season while living at home?
Richie: Stay off of your phone except to take pictures. Stay in the moment as much as possible even if it may be boring. Help with things you may not normally help with. Have conversations with people. One way to start a good conversation is to ask, “Is this holiday season busy for you?” and listen to what they have to say. Be present.
Ethan: Last? What do you mean by last? Why go to college or move out when you could stay right at home in the basement? No more last holiday season, no more problems.
What's the best way to make cookies for Santa?
Richie: If they are made days in advance, keep them in a closed container with a piece of bread inside to keep them from going stale.
Ethan:
Step 1: Go to store and buy chocolate chip cookies
Step 2: Enjoy (or let Santa enjoy)
Any snow shoveling tips?
Richie: Keep your hands and ankles warm. Wear multiple layers. Wear shoes with traction. Wearing a face mask will keep your face warm. Warm up and stretch before shoveling to prevent injury. Push the shovel more than you lift it. After shoveling, sprinkle salt, or kitty litter on the shoveled area to increase traction.
Ethan: Wait till your neighbors do it for you. Someone is eventually going to pity you and the six feet of snow turning your house into an igloo and bail you out. Just bake some cookies for them and you’ll make sure this yearly tradition continues all season long.