Two Kids, Two Cents
What should I do if I feel like I'm getting made fun of, but the people that are making fun of me just mean it as a joke, and I don't feel like I can stand up for myself?
Richie: Standing up for yourself is always an option. It is easier to apologize for overreacting, than heal from being hurt. An easy way to make yourself heard is to be adamant about what you are saying. Simple things like, “that wasn't very nice” or “that wasn't funny” may seem small and insignificant, but they can make an impact. Make sure people know when they are crossing the line, and make sure what you say is heard. If you have trouble standing up for yourself, tell a friend or trusted adult. They can help you stand up for you until you are prepared to do it yourself.
Ethan: That’s totally unacceptable. Your friends should know not to mess with you like that because you know why? There’s a wolf inside of you and when that wolf comes out your friends will be sorry. I’m talking about going full mortal kombat on them, giving them the 1-2 left hook. McGregoring their faces into mush. Their mothers shouldn’t even be able to recognize them after you unleash a total smackdown on them. How do I handle sports, homework, and friendships all at once?
Richie: Sports have their set time. A few hours after school and a few games here and there. Friends can also be made in sports so it would be easier to hang out with them. Do as much homework as you can during classes. Utilize class time. Stay in contact with your friends. Try your best not to drift too far by being silent. Make hanging out with your friends a priority. Find a time to hang out with them. Work until plans are set in stone. Do what you can manage physically and mentally. Don’t burn yourself out.
Ethan: The best way to handle many different things at once is to just have more hands. If you had 8 arms like an octopus you could solve all your problems lickity split. You can use two arms to do your homework, two arms for sports, and four arms for your friends or whatever your busy little self wants to do. Now You might be asking, “How am I supposed to be at all those places at once? Is growing that many arms even possible? Why are you so bad at giving advice?” My answer to the first two questions is if there’s a will there’s a way. If you believe in yourself hard enough, you can slayyy.
What would be a good way to ask someone out on a date, and what would be a good first date?
Richie: Be upfront with it. A simple, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” is perfect. People enjoy when things are upfront and easy to understand. For a first date, I suggest going to the corn maze, or a park if it's not the season. This can be a great way to get to talk to someone and see what they're like.
Ethan: Let’s face it: dating is a scam. You’re spending your time and, most importantly, your money to essentially hang out with someone. What you should do is straight up propose to them the first time you two meet. The best place and time to do this would be at the back of a gas station at 10 in the morning on a Thursday. Props to you if you get a Ring Pop from the same gas station. Nothing screams dedication like crystalized high fructose corn syrup shaped like a gemstone. I’ve done this multiple times and can proudly attest that this has resulted in success 100% of the time.
What do I do if I have a really big crush on someone and they have a bf/gf?
Richie: This is a tough situation and a tough answer. You need to suck it up. It is not your place to get involved. I know the more fun and exciting answer to go after your crush, but that's not what you should do. Your crush is with someone else. There is nothing you can do about that. Leave it alone. Respectfully step to the side. It will be difficult, but that's just how it is.
Ethan: Enter your villain arc. For the next 3 months, it's gonna be nothing but weightlifting, shotgunning protein shakes, and crying in the shower, but the results will be worth the blood, toil, tears, and sweat. The only thing that can ruin it is doing cardio. Cardio is for Rocky montages, and not for making girls/boys question their commitments. You got this champ.
How do you tell your parents you want to quit orchestra and join band?
Richie: Your needs and wants are important. If you are not enjoying something, or would rather do something else, you have to make it known. Be upfront about it. Tell your parents you'd like to quit orchestra and join band and why. Listen to what they say. They also have a say in this, but take account of what you need.
Ethan: Don’t even tell them; just skip class and go to band. Band is clearly superior to orchestra in so many different ways. The people are cooler, the instruments are shinier, the room is louder, and the teacher is cuter. You’ll have a much better time.
How do I know when I like someone?
Richie: If you enjoy being around them that’s a good sign. If you have fun when you are around each other that shows how comfortable and safe they make you feel. Them being nice/respectful of you and others can also play a big role. The question is a bit self explanatory. You liking this person, romantically or not, can be boiled down to: Do you enjoy their personality, talking to them, and being around them. Whether or not you pursue a romantic relationship with that person should rely on those things.
Ethan: Oh you’ll know. As humans, when it comes to love, we operate with two brains: one in the attic and one in the basement. You’ll probably get tingly or fuzzy feelings, which is what I call “spider senses”. When your spider senses are tingling, that means you’re in love (ooh la la).
